Who Wears The Pants?


I recently came across this joke about a young couple who were in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night. As they were undressing for bed, the husband–who was a big burly man–tossed his trousers to his bride and said, “Here, put these on.” She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body.

“I can’t wear your trousers,” she said.

“That’s right and don’t you ever forget it. I’m the man who wears the pants in this family!” said the husband.

With that, she flipped him her panties and said, “Try these on.”

He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as his kneecaps. “C’mon, I can’t get into your panties!”

She replied, “That’s right, and that’s the way it’s going to stay until your attitude changes.”

You see how society succeeds in ripping so many marriages apart with its poor definition of the various roles of men and women in the home. Like those couples, confusion has already began on their honeymoon night. Do we really expect a woman to appreciate who she is if we keep shoving male superiority down her throat? Are men greater than women in the first place? This is why a good cause like Feminism exists. It’s rather disappointing the manner in which some women protest against various acts that degrade their sense of worth. I totally understand that the rights of women have been infringed upon for so long a time. However, attempting to achieve your goals in anger and bitterness only makes your every opportunity to right any wrong turn sour. Nevertheless, feminism is an important movement worth championing and I believe it requires the full support of both sexes to successfully push its message across.

Sometimes the only feedback I get from my lady friends is that of negativity towards marriage (as in those who have plans of getting married). I totally empathize with them because some of the stories involving women are really disturbing. In certain places for instance, husbands have sexual authority over their wives. The man is vested with the authority to demand for sex whenever he pleases (even if it’s against his wife’s desire). I also remember reading a story about an 8yr old Yemeni bride who suffered injuries from her 40-year-old husband in what appears to be a forced marriage. (article is right here). How on earth do you sleep with a girl FIVE TIMES your age? We subject women to all kinds of monstrous acts and later point fingers at them when they develop a personal vendetta against us. What hurts me the most is that the good men out there are the ones who suffer the consequence of the bitterness exuding from these victims.

Marlene Dixon once said that ‘the institution of marriage is the chief vehicle for the perpetuation of the oppression of women’ stating that ‘it is through the role of wife that the subjugation of women is maintained.’ Oppression of women…Subjugation of women… this is what societal laws and traditions do for us; they are professionals when it comes to creating differences and distinctions amongst us. They tell us marriage is another platform where the inferiority of women amplifies because in there ladies are made to be ‘subservient’ and not ‘submissive’ to their husbands. How I wish all will come to learn of the truth of what it means to be a man or a woman from the Judeo-Christian point of view. It’s just amazing that the most important historical event of this world (the Resurrection of Christ) would be revealed FIRST to a group of women who in their era were regarded as inferior to men. These were people whose stories and testimonies didn’t hold water in any court of law yet God chose what men call the ‘foolish things’ of this world to establish His truth. God turned cultural norms on their heads by electing women to spread the good news that Christ had risen! It should tell us something; that though our silly culture makes every effort to pin women down, God thinks otherwise by placing them on the same pedestal as men. WE are equal with respect to our worth as the Bible declares that ‘there is no division into Jew and non-Jew, slave and free or male and female in Christ Jesus’. We are all important! We both matter!

Attached to our equal sense of worth lies the differing roles we play in life. The very idea of ‘roles’ seems quite repugnant to some of us. There’s that presumption that certain roles in the marital home registers women as low-class citizens; but is this really true? Consider the relationship between a President and a Vice President briefly. The President and Vice President both work together towards the betterment of the nation. In the course of their interaction, VP reports directly to the President during national affairs. However, this kind of relationship doesn’t in any way belittle the status of the VP because as a matter of fact, both of them are human beings. The President may be up there on the ladder in terms of rank but he’s not superior to the VP of the nation in terms of intrinsic worth or essence as individuals. This is the main point we keep forgetting. Priority doesn’t have to imply inferiority anywhere. One’s position in a human institution such as marriage, has no effect on intrinsic worth. You can’t tell me that the man is superior to the woman just because he’s the head of the home. A man’s role as head of the home actually means he’s the head from the bottom. He’s the foundation on which the home is to be built upon. That’s certainly no joke! You’re in that place to serve and protect your family and to make sure their needs (physical, psychological, financial, emotional etc) are met. But guess what? Your wife isn’t going to sit there and watch you do it alone. She’s there to offer you her greatest help to shape the family’s vision. Your wife will voluntarily submit to you ONLY if you exhibit a very sensitive and loving leadership at home. She is to you what your human neck is to your human head; in order for you (the head) to remain stable or turn and flex in all directions, you need the full support of your ‘neck’ (wife) to make such coordination possible. Your roles differ alright but you dare not for a moment look down on your wife to make her feel inferior. Don’t give her any reason to make ‘HEADSHIP’ and ‘SUBMISSION’ repulsive to her. You dare not! She is just as valuable and worthy as you are.

If you are a man and you think women exist to serve you, then you haven’t understood the meaning of manhood and womanhood yet. Women aren’t properties so let’s not treat them as though they are one. If it was fitting enough for God to respond to the need of a man with such a precious gift as a woman, it should tell us the kind of power a woman carries. Husbands, remember that your wife is that unique individual who has come into your life and has agreed to love, help, and respect and submit to your leadership in order to help you become that influential father and better husband you’re intended to be. Your glory and dignity lies in your wives. If you understand the heaviness of this profound statement, do well to bring your adorable wife to her place of royalty. To the ladies, being a woman and being content with what is rightfully yours is what makes you valuable. In other words, it is no shame being a female. If there’s the need to fight for what is truly yours, do so in a manner that will attract others to support you fully because if it must be done, it must be done well. Let’s work together to fight for what each one of us deserves in life so that our society and our world at large becomes a beautiful place to live in.


One thought on “Who Wears The Pants?

  1. …and I will make a help meet for him. Woman is the help mate for the man not the servant. And that means the man is already doing something and the woman helps him. Nice piece bro. So true.


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